Let me take you back. The year is 1995. While most children my age were preparing to be sent off to grade school, I was getting malaria shots and every other kind vaccine available, FDA approved or not. I was making my first transpacific flight to Thailand, my ancestral home. I don't remember much of the events leading up to the actual trip, but I can tell you that the next several weeks changed my life. That is a whole other story in itself.
Before I continue, let me paint you a picture. My mother is what you would describe as a stereotypical asian mother. Overbearing and overprotective. One small sniffle or cough and we, my two sisters and I, would be rushed to the family doctor. She always made sure safety precautions were enforced. Shoulder pads/knee pads/helmets/sunscreen were part of my daily ensemble. I see myself going on a tangent, so back to the story...
My mother purchased several disposable cameras (this was pre-digital age) to take with us on the journey. Several photos are still in my possession. In one of them, I'm standing at the check in counter at the airport, sporting my Winnie The Pooh backpack. I look so adorable if I do say so myself. In another I'm looking horrified of the fact that my mother has strapped me to a leash. Yes, that's right, a leash. Not unlike those things you hook your pets to. It was a bright red color, just in case you didn't notice the harness contraption on a four year old. The afore mentioned leash only allowed me to wander oh....five feet in either direction from my mother. Even with limited mobility I was still a feisty child. Dragging my mother where I wanted to go. She probably stumbled several times in attempt to avoid tripping over myself. I envision we were something like a great dane trying to be handled by a midget. Essentially rendering the purpose of a leash, useless.
How can I remember all this, you ask? Well, when your mother attaches a restraining device to your body, it's somewhat of a traumatic experience. That, and I have the memory of a 350gb external hard drive. Cheyyah.
Moral is, if any of you are parents or plan on being parents, don't enable the use of child leashes...that is unless you want your children to grow up to writing stories about you on their blog.
The End.
