First It's Candy, Then It's Gum.

Schizophrenia is no longer limited to mental disorders.

But seriously though, this shit is the shit.

Come On DJ Play That Song...

Yea, Im dancing alone in my room, so what?

How To Talk To Me 101:

Apparently it just befuddles the male mind to approach me normally and start up a decent conversation. Being asian doesnt make me unattainable.

1. If you mention any of the following words I WILL kick your ass: ninja, karate, crouching tiger, dragons, etc.

2. I am neither Tila Tequila or Lucy Liu.

3. I am NOT a manicurist or masseuse nor do I know how to use nunchucks.

4. I am NOT obsessed with Hello Kitty.

5. I'll be damned if I'm meek or sumissive.

7. No I will not wear a kimono out in public.

8. I am definitely not a super genius with an IQ of 145.

9. Turn on techno in my car. I will sucker punch you.

10. If you do pass the above pre-requisites and take me out on a date my diet does NOT just consist of rice and noodles.

Art Is For The Eyes And Your Cookies.

1. Lloyd
2. Bobby Valentino
3. Pleasure P
4. Trey Songz
5. Pharrel
6. Tyga
7. Mario
8. Drake
9. Jeezy
10. Wiz Khalifa

I think I'll play it on shuffle.

I Wish...

Relationships were like a Robin Thicke playlist on repeat.
I want the sweetest love, the cant help myself love, all night long love. I want someone to say to me you're my baby, my only love. I want someone to say that to me and mean it. I want everything I can't have, everything I once thought I had.
But not all of us can have a Mario, a John Legend, a Ne-Yo, or Tyrese. We can't all live in an R&B music video. We live in the real world.

Cutting Ties.

So what's a girl to do when she finds out that love as she knew it had been a total lie? The exact question I was asking myself several days ago. Two pints of Karmel Sutra and Seasons 1 and 2 of Grey's Anatomy later, I realized the answer is nothing. There was nothing I could do to stop it, and there's nothing I can do to change it. I guess when people say forever they mean just until they've had enough. How does it feel, you ask? Take everything you knew to be true, and have someone tell you otherwise. Santa Claus is actually a twisted pedophile, sneaking into the homes of little boys and littles girls having a merry ol' time getting a taste of their milk and cookies. The withholding tax that is taken out of your hard earned paycheck is, in fact, used to fund local terrorism and nuclear warhead testing. The one person who you trust tells you he's never loved you. Like a billion serrated knives stabbing and twisting in your heart. I have to believe, I make myself believe, that despite it all, through all the hurt, that some good can come out of this. I can live and learn and be a better person. Broken heart in hand I've become my one true love.

Ben & Jerry: The Only Men Who Truly Love Me

My eyes are sore from the excessive crying, resembling something like a rabid dog. I am disgusted at my own disregard for personal hygiene. My diet of brownies and icecream is giving me stomach ulcers. Im tired of being tired. I didn't realize that being single was such a Rob Zombie movie.
But as I teeter on the verge of complete psychosis, I've compiled a list of ways I can nurse my heart and diet back to health:

1. Become really really really hot.
2. Flaunt my newfound hotness to the public.
3. Rebound relationship.
4. Possible lesbianism.
5. Sexual promiscuity.
6. Switch to Hagen Dazs Low-Fat Dulce de Leche.